Herne Bay on the Rain Scale

The wags over at BBC Radio 4 invited their listeners to invent a new word-scale to describe British rain - like the Beaufort scale for wind, but funnier. I'm delighted to see that it takes the very heaviest kind of rain "siling down" to drive people from Herne Bay's beaches... Praise indeed!

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Your words for rain
1. Not Raining	Outdoor furniture is erected cautiously in gardens and on balconies. Light to moderate rummaging takes places in rucksacks for cagoules and pac-a-macs.

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I learned a new word today

And that word is paraprosdokian. This unlikely and ugly-looking word means a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. A punchline with a twist. For example:

• If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
• I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
• Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Think like an idiot

Dear reader, I know thinking like an idiot is not one of your natural strengths, but I thought it would be helpful for you to see the world through different eyes. Dull, unfocussed, short-sighted eyes that see only a small part of whole. When you have read the article at the link below, it will be much easier for you to understand the dafter things you read and hear.

Oh, no! It's making well-reasoned arguments backed with facts! Run!